Appreciation and the Workplace: What’s love got to do with it?

Spoiler alert:  at the end of this blog is a challenge!  (P.S. It’s fun and will help you feel great!)

Boss:  “Charlie, you did a great job on the Anderson account.  You deserve to be very proud of yourself.  Thank you for all your excellent work.”

Charlie:  “Well, I was just doing my job. . .”

Does something about this hypothetical exchange seem foreign — or very familiar — to you?

• If you are in Charlie’s shoes, when was the last time you heard anything like that from your boss? Or do you hear these types of messages from your supervisor?  Would you respond in a similar manner or differently?
• If you are in the Boss’ place, would you say something like this?  Or is the compliment paid to Charlie by his boss something that – well – wouldn’t exactly roll out smoothly for you?  How does Charlie’s statement make you feel?

Every coaching session I have begins with my client talking about what successes he/she has created since the last time we got together.  Often, this is the most difficult topic of discussion in the entire session.  It can take a lot of persistence on my part to make sure this important section doesn’t get skipped entirely!  For many people, it is much easier to talk about what went wrong or what failure occurred, than to own or appreciate accomplishments.

We have a natural human tendency – or habit – of focusing on what is wrong or what feels bad.  It seems to draw or even demand our attention.  Especially in a hectic workplace.  We want to fix what is wrong so we can get on with business.

The Research

Yet research shows that appreciation is a huge key to creating success – precisely because it feels good.  When we feel good, we are less stressed; therefore less likely to make costly mistakes; we are more productive; create more collaborative working relationships;  and improve our health.  People who feel good about where they work are also more likely to be loyal, stay with the company long term and talk about it positively outside of the office.

When I was a CEO, I didn’t want to hear that employees were OK with their jobs, or even liked them.  These are the words that made my day:  “I LOVE my job!”.  (Bonus?  “I LOVE working here!”)

The Boss in the exchange above is facilitating an environment of appreciation and comments such as these go a long way to creating a successful workplace.  Don’t take my word for it – try it and see.

And ultimately, the best source for appreciation — is you.  If you are seeking approval from outside, chances are you may be disappointed.  The most reliable source of constant appreciation comes from inside;  and makes the same difference in workplace enjoyment / attitude.

So take a moment to reflect on your own self talk habits.  What dominates your on-going, internal assessment of yourself?

Thoughts similar to these?

• “That was a really stupid thing I did.”
•  “Great.  I messed that up again.”
•  “Why do I always get it wrong?”
• “What’s the point of even trying?”
•  “I missed the deadline again.  Typical.”

Or these?

•  “Sure, there are some things that I could improve; and I feel really good about the work I did today.”
•  “It was tough; and I handled that difficult situation with my co-worker well.”
• “I am pleased with how I applied myself to this challenge.”
•  “I really had fun at work today!”

OK, that last one is a kicker!  I hope you did have some fun at work today.  Foster appreciation at your business and you will.

Oh yeah.  The challenge.  If you are ready to have more fun and feel better at work (yes and yes?) here goes:

Make Your List

Step 1:  For one week, monitor and record your self-talk on the job.  Don’t try to change anything – just notice and write it down.

Step 2:  Review your list.  Circle the comments that feel good.  Put an “X” by the ones that make you feel bad or drain your energy.

Step 3: “Flip” the ones that don’t feel good to something that does feel good, or at least better.  Here’s an example:

• From:  “That was a really stupid thing I did.”
• To:  “I pay attention and think things through before I act.”

Step 4:  Now practice focusing ONLY on the self-talk that feels good. Do this for at least two weeks.  Then record how you feel.

And – when someone compliments you or your work — smile and say “thank you”!

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Want to learn more?

Encourage Your People

Check out this excellent resource!

5 Languages of Appreciation and the Workplace

This book helps supervisors and managers effectively communicate appreciation and encouragement to their employees, resulting in higher levels of job satisfaction, healthier relationships between managers and employees, and decreased cases of burnout.